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Indestructable
Practicing yoga creates space. Space to see ourselves more clearly as we are. Sometimes it may be fun and lighthearted and we may feel joyous and ecstatic from all the positive energy we experience. But in the world of the senses there is always duality and other times we may be confronted with patters of deep-seated pain, insecurity and feel as if our lives are falling apart. How 'good' is our yoga practice then? When the excruciating pain of our wounded hearts collapses our breath due to a choking in the throat and an explosion of tears, threatening our sanity, a flood of unresolved emotions pushing forth, devouring everything and anything in its path. Where do we find our peace and stability then? Where is then that indestructible essence supposedly called Yoga, Union?
It's hard to find your peace in the midst of a cyclone. The external intensities are overwhelming and when we are struggling for survival, to speak of peace and quietness seems somewhat a little pretentious. However, there is an immediate awakening that presents itself when we can fully accept what is going on and thoroughly relate to that rather than long to be somewhere else or escape what is actually going on with denial.
What I'm trying to say is that there is tremendous clarity and freedom that may issue forth when we can become clearer with the strong undercurrents of emotions that consciously or subconsciously fuel our lives. Due to the intensities these strong emotions are often better suppressed or distracted in sophisticated ways, but although their undercurrents may be temporarily suppressed, the raw energy of the basic emotions will continue to remain the same whether they blossom in full hysteria or are held back with cool head and strong mind. In the modern world of psychology lately, they speak of term called Emotional Intelligence (EI). Scholars debate the true meaning of the term, but for now let's say it has to do with how we better feel, use, communicate, recognize, remember, learn from, manage and better understand our emotions for the greater clarity of our lives on all levels. As most people have probably experienced, when our emotions are on a positive high, life flows easy, when they overwhelms us with grief and sadness, the pangs of life quickly becomes difficult to bear.
Naturally we cannot control the external factors of our life. We may have the greatest faith in an organization, religion, our beloved partner, our family and our children, but all of these no matter what great support and comfort we may get from them, when they suddenly crumble or turn against us, it's easy to get lost in a sea of abysmal emotions that unfortunately may cause quite a few disturbances in our lives. These intensities may be cleverly suppressed, poorly managed or constructively dealt with. Let us here focus on the later. No matter how bad our lives may appear to be. Although everything appears to be falling apart around us and everything we ever believed in has betrayed out trust, where do we pick up the broken pieces of our own lives and continue in a open loving manner rather than end up desensitized, hard and shut down for further interactions and simply blame all our suffering on others instead of constructively look at what it is inside of us that is causing this upheaval?
Personally I believe there is a great lesson in embracing our emotions more fully and completely. All in due moderation of course, but whatever pain or joy we may experience they may create the receptivity we need to investigate further into the subtle patterns of our being and what is there as the underlying support of all the wild fluctuations of the mind. The school of yoga firmly holds that there is a center of perceptivity from within different to all the wild fluctuations of our own mind, whether they are physical, emotional or have a pure mental nature. When we find that we will find a strength and support of an unshakable nature that is independent of any wild fluctuations we may experience in our own mind. Thus believe it or not, if we truly seek improvement in the practice of Yoga. Our practice should equally embrace all the patterns that make us uncomfortable and insecure about whom we are rather than always seeking that which is tickles our nature and makes us feel stimulated, satisfied and elated. Or as a good friend so well put it the other day: Only to the extent that we expose ourselves to annihilation, over and over again, can that which is indestructible be found in us.
To more fully come to terms with our own pain may be an exceptional tool of transformation in this process. As we learn to sift between the many layers of our own emotional conditioning a potential for greater clarity and energy is always freed up. This normally comes from creating space. Space to be with things as they are. Without pushing for change or desperately trying to run away. Naturally it feels better to be consumed by ecstasy rather than feel tormented by grief, but when we can consciously create space to whatever is and truly accept that, there is a tremendous potential for healing and growth on all levels. Not necessarily in our immediate practical reality, that still needs to sorted in a gradual manner, but once an indestructible source of essence is deeply experienced from within our whole perspective of life changes. Whatever rigid patterns we may be caught up in or whatever pain or exaltation we may feel can never really annihilate us nor delude us, because we are rooted in something that does not change, a source that is heartfelt, consistent and pure and experienced as the pure witness of our whole operational being.
This is the theoretical view on Yoga. To find an essence of what is truly indestructible and then allow that to shine forth unobstructed within our being. Allow that to more fully illuminate all our patterns from within, they may be miserable or ecstatic, intelligent or dull, refined or base, but alas, they will help us realize that the inmost purity of seeing, the essence of the Self, does not change and waver according to the fluctuations of the mind, but merely observes them due to its inherent quality of being the observer rather than how we identify with our mind, that usually gets tangled up in whatever we are experiencing.
For those of you that thought the various practices of yoga were meant to be easy, I'm sorry to disappoint you. However, to better and more fully understand the many patterns of our own mind is probably the greatest lesson we can ever learn. It happens gradually and slowly and may all the experiences you have of yoga, on and off the mat, slowly seep into your daily lives and create the space needed to more clearly be able to see, rest and be with things as they are. Then great strength and clarity will for sure issue forth.
R. Alexander Medin
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